If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You pole danced in your parka.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
