i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
