Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
