party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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