U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think your dad took our porno
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
