My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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