ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
