? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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