It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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