bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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