We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
