how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
