There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
