The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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