Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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