So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
