bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
