yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize