I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
