Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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