All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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