So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
