I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
don't judge my taste in strippers
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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