He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
