dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Randomize
