is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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