i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
