i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
