We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
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im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
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After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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