Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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