Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
