Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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