is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
