I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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