He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
