this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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