i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
