just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
