That's intense
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
