Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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