It's chlamydia! Thank God!
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
