people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
