My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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