i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
