I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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