Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize