My nipple is on Facebook.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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