I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
