Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
