We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
