My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
