he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
where are my pants?
in the oven.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
