remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
