That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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