they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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