well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
