you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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