you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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