My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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