addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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