i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
