so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
