It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
