I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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