Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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