He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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