Small penises have feelings too.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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