is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
